The story of Darla and Peter

Darla sits on a rough bench outside of her family’s shack, shaking, knowing if she runs for help her mother will die. The tall man in the dirty red cloak bends over and whispers something into her mother’s ear. Her mother screams, “No”, over and over until her cracked voice can no longer sustain sound. The three men laugh as Darla’s little brother tires to attack the man closest to their mother. The bald man grabs him by the back of his thread bare shirt and hits him hard, across his face. Tears run down Darla’s cheeks. Her mother can’t see Jordy lying on the ground but she can. There is so much blood!
Eleven years later.
Darla turned twenty last month. She now lives in Harlock, a city renown for its unsavory citizens. When her mother died the man in the red cloak gave her a choice, cut out her mother’s eyes or become his slave. She couldn't desecrate her mother and so, since she turned thirteen she has been a prostitute working for the man who killed her mother and little brother.
Peter Thain, is her masters name. Peter, once upon a time a no account highwayman, is now one of the most successful smugglers in Harlock. Over the years Peter has accumulated many slave women but Darla is his favorite. He can torture and kill in front of her and she never flinches. He remembers how when Darla was younger she refused to talk to anyone, even when he would beat her, but in her sleep she would scream and whimper as if the evil god Yesinyo himself were chasing her. Peter loves to make Darla scream. It is a challenge at times because she is so accustom to his games but to Peter, it is worth the effort.
Darla is often past among Peter’s men as a prize for their tasks, well accomplished. Today, Peter is in an especially good mood because of a recent success. To reward himself he summons Darla to his private rooms. Darla entered his chambers unescorted with her usual blank mask firmly in place. She crosses the room to stand directly in front of the bed as was ingrained. Peter smiles and retrieves ropes and a small blade from a night stand. After tossing his accouterments on the bed Peter begins to undress Darla.
Afterward Peter, well satisfied, falls asleep. The knife lay forgotten next to Darla’s hip. Darla’s mouth twitches in a semblance of a smile. She pulls and twists one arm until bleeding and raw she frees her wrist. Finally able to hold the knife she takes a deep breath. In one swift movement Darla severs Peter’s spinal cord. Minutes later contented with the knowledge, and covered in the evidence of his demise, Darla slits an artery in her own thigh.

The End.

I like the basic idea of 'The Story of Darla and Peter' and even like the way in which the order of events/details flow. However, I am not satisfied with the style of my present tense. I find when read aloud by someone other than myself the rhythm of sound is jagged and unrefined. I don't generally enjoy writing in present tense because I am better able to express my imagination by switching between perspectives and tenses.

My preference presents a problem all of its own. When switching between both tense and perspective readers can become confused unless the author (me) is careful. In light of my problem I have decided to work on writing in only one tense and also one perspective, though not necessarily in conjunction or in the context of a single story.